This presupposition of NLP is a tool to boost the confidence and motivation when you need those, so you can recall this presupposition whenever you want to do something that you think is difficult for you. You will find an instant change in your confidence and you will achieve your goal passionately. Let’s go through the brief of it.
First, I want to talk about the belief that limits us, holds us back to do something, to try something that we were always scared of. It could also be a habit that you want to get rid of so badly but could not make yourself able enough to even try to get rid of it. Let’s take an example of belief first, suppose you are someone who does a desk job and never given any speech or presented in front of people and you also don’t want to do that and you think that you can’t do it, that’s because of your belief. All you need to do is change your belief system. Here, you can remind yourself this presupposition that if someone can do it – anyone can do it, you just needs to take action.
Let me share another example, If you have a bad habit of smoking, drinking alcohol, biting your nails or picking hair etc and you know it is definitely not a good thing to be habitual of, I am sure that you know someone with the same habit and left it long ago, you can use this presupposition again to get motivated that if someone can do it you can also do it, right? Once you start believing in this presupposition you will find that this is the best helping tool that you can use for anything that you wish to achieve.
This presupposition of NLP tells you about something that you might have not noticed yet. The meaning of your communication is not what you say but actually the response that you get from others. I am sure that you have gone through the situation when you say something and others understand something else and then you say I am sorry I didn’t mean that. There is nothing wrong with others understanding but the words that you chose to deliver. That happens when selection of your words doesn’t match your intentions.
Let’s take an example here if you are a parent of child and ask him/her to clean the room and he/she doesn’t do it,, what would you do in order to get it done? Hope you will not just shout on him/her but and ask him what made him skip this. May be he was doing homework or maybe you were not specific that you want him to do it right away. Probably you must change your approach towards more specific like you want him to clean his room in an hour or finish your homework quickly then clean your room in next 2 hours.
Let’s take another example here, maybe you’re a manager or you have a team to manage. Suppose one of your team members is performing as per the potential that you want him/her to display and you ask that member to improve. Yes, of course he/she will improve since you’re a boss but wait a minute! Did you mention how much do you want him/her to improve? What will happen if he/she has different limits and understanding of improvement than yours, it can bring misunderstanding between you and your team member because after some time you will feel that he/she is not fulfilling your expectations.
If we talk about personal relationships, the most common reason of misunderstanding in relationships are the expectations which occurs due to unclear or lack of communication. If your partner asks you to talk to him/her when you are out the whole day at work and you do so but still your partner is not happy with you on this then maybe for you it’s enough to talk once in a day when you’re out and he/she is expecting call him/her thrice a day or maybe your partner would like to be connected more. My concern is not the reason behind but the communication that you need have to be more specific about the expectations.
You can start practicing this presupposition from now onward, if you ask someone to do something or if you are communicating with someone and you feel that its not working, choose your words wisely in order to make others understand the exact same thing you want them to understand. You will find yourself becoming a good communicator by time.
NLP Presuppostions – ( 4 ) Everyone makes the best choice available to them at the time they make it
We always treat NLP Presuppositions as if they were true so that we can change our perspective to find more positive and effective options available to us at a time and this presupposition of NLP is the best example of it. Before your mind gives you counter examples of this presupposition, I would like to take you through the brief of it.
I want you to remember the last time when you bought new clothes or mobile or some daily household items, recall the feeling when you chose that item to buy. I am pretty much sure that you can feel how confident you were with your choice that time. Now, just think how it feels when you meet someone after your shopping and he/she says you could find better than that or he/she doesn’t like that item. Because they think that you could find better than this and they don’t know that it was the best available option for you to choose at that time whether it is in terms of taste, color, shape or size and price etc. you must remember that you made the best choice available to you at and others also do so.
Let’s understand this presupposition in another way suppose you are an employee in an organization and your boss gives you a target to achieve which is not practically possible to you, that doesn’t mean that your boss doesn’t know about it. If you change your perspective like flipping a coin to look at the other side of it, then you will be able to understand the real intention behind it. It could be that he wants you to put your maximum efforts in it or he wants you to realize that you can really do it or it could be that he wants to check the potential of his employees by doing so. That’s why NLP says people make the best choice available to them at the time they make it.
Spend your next two days keeping this presupposition in your mind and I can bet that you’ll find an amazing change and improvement in your perspective that you’ll never want to lose.
In this presupposition of NLP you are about to learn how your belief system works. Your belief and thinking is your map and the world around you is the territory. To make it more clearly to you I would like to share an example here, if I ask you to imagine a flower of rose, there are possibilities of different types of roses you have just imagined, it could be red, white or pink. If you ask someone else to imagine the same you might get a completely different answer. It could be a bigger rose than yours or a rose with thorns and that’s because all have different maps.
Let’s understand how a mind creates the map. It starts from the very first day when a child takes place on earth, when a new born baby cries and mother feeds the baby, the brain of that little baby starts adopting and for that baby who can’t speak and understand any language but knows how to cry for feeding. I am sure you will be able to relate it to yourself if I say that every one of us has pretended to be crying or sick for something that we wanted when we were child, right? Because we knew it that time how it is going to work. The programming of our map depends on several things like childhood, family, neighborhood, culture and religion etc.
If you want to create a better map, you have to start thinking and believing with new patterns. You will find your old map vanishing by time and new map will start showing up. New map will be more compatible to the world around you and it will make you a happy, creative and a person strong enough to face the challenges of your life. Every time, when you change your map you will find it better than the last one and you can change the maps until you find the best compatible to you.
There is no failure, only feedback
After reading the title you might be thinking “definitely there is failure”. Well yes, according to NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) it exists only if you choose to look at it that way. This is a constructive feeling which is made by our own mind. You can choose to look at the results either as a feedback or a failure.
When you decide to try out something new or take new actions and you don’t get the expected results, you may choose to be negative or consider learning out of the experience. If you choose to think that you failed, ask yourself for a moment what feeling would you get next time before trying out something new? It is better to think of a new action and take result as an experience or a feedback.
Lets understand this in an another way. I want you to pick an activity what you are used to do now; it could be driving, typing on laptop or mobile and cooking etc. Now, I would like you to recall the memory when you tried it for the first time and the mistakes that you made in the beginning. Why are you good in it now? Because you chose to learn it anyway and you took the results as feedback and you improved yourself by learning from your mistakes.
If may have a team and your team member is not performing well and if you consider their performance to be a failure may lead to hindrance in improvement. Hence this presupposition of NLP recommends believing in feedback and not failure.
So, failure is nothing but a constructed feeling which holds you back from improving and limits you. The only way to know your limits is to try them. Start taking your results as a feedback and success will be the only outcome you will get.
In my last blog I introduced presuppositions of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). Today, you will learn the first presupposition which is very important to remember at every single step of your daily life.
There is always a positive intention behind every behavior. Whether the action is good or bad, a person’s behavior has always a positive intention. If you find a person behaving the way you don’t want him/her to behave, or you don’t understand the behavior, doesn’t mean that he/she has a negative intention behind that behavior. Suppose, you ask someone to borrow you some money for a couple of days and the person denies, it is definitely a negative answer for you but there will definitely be a positive intention for that person to say no to you. May be he/she does not want to take the risk or he/she does not have enough money to support you. Whatever the reason is however the intention is always positive.
Let’s see another example to understand this presupposition; if you are a manager or manage a team and your team member is not performing well maybe that’s because he is under learning or he is more focused on the perfection and does not want to disappoint. If you look into the real reasons of underperformance then you will have better ways to improve his performance and your management style instead of getting disappointed and bringing conflict in your working relationships with your team.
So everyone always has positive intention behind every behavior. No one purposefully behave with a negative intention. If you discover the real intention behind any behavior or action you will find a way for healthier and more effective alternatives to lead a positive and happy life.
This presupposition of NLP is not meant to condone sinful acts or heinous crimes committed by evil people.
Presuppositions of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is not quite a belief and something we believe is 100% true all the time because we might be able to find counter examples to some of what I am going to tell you. I want you to think of them as attitudes that when we take on produce predictably excellent results. As an NLP trainer, coach and a hypnotist these are great attitudes to take on when I am working with clients, I encourage you to take these on as attitudes and try them you may find some you really like, some you don’t like so much. Try them out in your personal and professional life. Notice for yourself where they work and serve you, notice where they are useful in your life first and then you can worry about the exceptions down the road.
When we presuppose something we’re making an assumption that something is true and we are building upon that. For example if I say that by the end of this entire blog, I’m not sure which part of it you will have enjoyed the most. It could have been the live examples that I will share with you, could be the activities that I am going to share with you, it could be the learning of particular NLP Processes and how you can apply those processes to create dramatic and rapid change in different areas of your life or in helping others, it could be the techniques to change the way you look at yourself and the world. I don’t know which part you’ll enjoy most. That is really up to you to discover for yourself so you can imagine that.
Now realize, what is the first thing that I presupposed? What is the first thing that I build upon? That was that you’re going to complete this blog till the end.
Below is the list of presuppositions of NLP:
Each person is unique / the map is not the territory. There is no right or wrong in life. It is essentially the outcome of the way our thought process interprets the event. It is important to understand that we respond to our ‘mental maps’ or our interpretations of our world to arrive at a conclusion. These conclusions are different for different people.
There is a solution to every problem.
We have within us all the resources we ever need.
The person with the most flexibility in thinking and behavior has the greatest influence.
Mind and body are part of the same system.
Knowledge, thought, memory and imagination are the result of sequences and combination of ways of filtering and storing information.
In my next blog I will explain these presuppositions in details.
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Choosing to become a coach with Haris Syed Coaching Academy which is approved by ICF, gives you an edge over other coaching certification training providers as this program is not only going to equip you with the coaching skills but we also provide you module with specialization and business development. You can choose your niche during the training from the following options
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Weekend Batch – Classes conducted ones per week for 4 Hours over 12 weeks. Click here to see next batch start date.
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Here are the tips to get rid of day to day fear and anxiety
If you want to learn how to become a master of your mind you may be interested in NLP and Coaching Certification Program that we conduct in Dubai, Abu Dhabi, New Delhi and Hyderabad and now also introduced NLP and Coach Certifications online. NLP is for everyone who wishes to improve overall life. It is for people who are willing to achieve their goals in any aspect of life like career, happy relationships, building confidence, and public speaking skills etc. Let me share these tips of life skills which are a must in today’s fast moving and ever changing world. These tips will help you to overcome situations of feeling fearful, stressed or anxious.
1. Calm down
According to some studies, you can’t think straight when you are clouded with fear and anxiety. So taking time is the first and the most important thing to remember to calm down.
You have to change your physiology to change your psychology. You can walk around for a couple of minutes; you can get outside to buy something to eat n drink or you if you like to make some tea or a coffee. Goal is to distract your mind and change its state.
Let’s do this a breathing activity as breathing patterns are one of the important factors of stress management –
Stand up with both the feet parallel if you are sitting and place your feet approx shoulder width apart.
- Inhale from your nose into your belly not chest, as long as it is comfortable.
- Count slowly one to four and exhale from your mouth.
- Gentle and regular breathe is always better, do not push yourself hard to fill your belly.
- Try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Target is to make your nerves run slower to calm down.
- Do it four to six times and you will find an instant change in your mind state.
3. Stop running away from your fear
You can avoid fear but avoiding doesn’t mean that you will not face it again. Running away is never a solution. Whatever your fear is, you start facing and it starts fading. Be innovative, take the initiative, and go extra mile. If you don’t take action to fight against your fear, you will miss all the heavenly glory and opportunities will pass you by.
4. Look at it as a situation
Fear and anxiety are situations and nothing else. Let me share an activity with you so that you can practice and use it when needed. So, imagine a normal size of circle on the ground assuming yourself the origin with all the fear that you are flooded with and then step out of this circle and leave your emotions in it. Now, look at the fear that you left in the circle, make it a situation and find the solution. Practice it and use it when you need it.
5. Stop trying to be perfect
Stress is a part of life, rather than learning how to be stress free it’s better to learn how to manage stress. Though, all of us want that our lives must be perfect but chasing perfection will lead you to a place in nowhere. Start managing your stress; try to look at the positive aspects of your life and the world around you. You will start feeling how perfect your life is.
6. Avoid Crutches
Sometimes, people adopt partying lifestyle like drinking alcohol and doing drugs to avoid anxiety. After sometime your brain will be habitual of these unhealthy habits. Your brain will not bother to fight anxiety. This is genuinely important for fighting anxiety. If you want to get over anxiety, you need to start avoiding reckless behaviors.
7. Talk about it
You are not strong enough if you don’t talk about it. Women get cancer too, but more men die from it and the reason is that men don’t talk about it and they don’t go to therapy. Language makes a huge difference. Language matters. When you talk to somebody and you say, “Here are my concerns or challenges”. Then you start reframing the emotion.
Neuro Linguistic Programming and Coaching Skills: Paves the Way for Achieving Higher Level of Excellence
Neuro Linguistic Programming can bring some revolutionary changes in life in terms of knowledge, skills and techniques necessary for a peaceful and successful life.
Neuro Linguistic Programming, which in short known as NLP is used for personal development and for success in business, personal and professional life. Thus, there is nothing wrong in saying that NLP program is a powerful behavior training program for not only personal, but also for business and career transformation.
There are some amazing benefits of enrolling in Neuro Linguistic Programming course in Dubai which includes better leadership, enhancing charisma and improved sales and revenue. Moreover, it also helps with personal challenges like smoking, anger management, negative behavior, phobias and many more. Opting for NLP certification course in UAE or in Online Batch, is going to be one of the best decisions of your life and you can redesign thinking and your life in a streamlined manner.
NLP Practitioner and Coach Certification
There is always a huge buzz about NLP and coaching skills, so here in this blog post I am going to explain about this program. NLP Practitioner and Coach Certification training will help you in discovering the patterns that lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and others. You will develop skills and techniques to change unwanted habits and help in resolving inner conflicts of yours and others around you. You understand communication of yourself and other at a deeper lever and hence you build great relationship and rapport with whoever you interact.
In our NLP & Coach Certification Online and classroom training gives concrete results faster. As an NLP practitioner and a Coach you will have access to the highly advanced tools, strategies as well as methods of assisting people to eradicate any obstacle and effectively implement the specific strategies that will give more assured success in the future. There is no exaggeration and my personal assurance to you is that NLP practitioner and coach certification that we conduct in Dubai, Abu Dhabi in UAE, New Delhi and Hyderabad in India and Globally online, offers exceptional life changing benefits to your personal and professional life.
International Coaching Federation (ICF)
When it comes to professional coaching, the ICF credential refers to knowledge, strong ethical code and accountability. ICF coach certification training in either classroom or online is designed to allow participants to enable as well as practice the skills of coaching in their careers. This will lead to growth, development and personal achievement. All our coaching programs are run as per the code of ethics laid down by ICF.